"The Investigation" or "Bill & Joe's Excellent Adventure"

"This is the city-- Los Angeles, California. It is sometimes called "the land of opportunity."

Maybe that's why so many people have moved out here. During the Depression years, it was said, even if you starved in California, you'd enjoy the climate while you were doing it."

"Today, there are more opportunities here than ever-- if you're qualified. And it's still a good place to live, particularly if you've got a job. I know. I work here. I carry a badge."

The intro monologue has some familiar zooms, pans, and vistas.

Check this out - there is a funny looking pencil with a brush at the eraser end- that was what Bill would use to correct his typewriter mistakes:

I imagine that some company, somewhere, still makes them. Or, maybe they are lost office detritus.

Let's take a gander at the necktie situation as they are abundant in this episode:

Stripes, dots, stripes, more stripes.

More plain, more stripes. So conservative. Good job mixing it up, Vincent Dee.

HELLO I AM POINTING AT PAPER

I'VE NEVER BEEN IN AN EPISODE OF DRAGNET BEFORE

ME NEITHER

LOL J/K

And now: the happiest moment on Dragnet, and possibly in Dragnet history; a smiling sequence:

Jack Webb,

eerie and ever-orangey Dennis McCarthy, 

that dude that looks like a muppet,

and that barkeep that got questioned for possibly killing his girlfriend.

WELCOME TO THE FORCE

This kid's mortgage in 1968 is $30k. Suzy's Inflation Calculator rounds that up to $200k today.

Jeez Louise! He's only 22 years old!

Vincent Dee marks this cat right out of the gate.

Right away you know this guy isn't getting in. His necktie is *way* too cool.

THE REST OF YOUR ENSEMBLE IS OK BUT THAT TIE GETS A FINE FOR BEING FINE

Index cards later, we're planning a trip in a time before ubiquitous GPS!

WE HAVE TO GO TO UNIVERSAL STUDIOS, THEN GO BACK TO UNIVERSAL STUDIOS, AND THEN HIT UNIVERSAL STUDIOS ON OUR WAY BACK TO UNIVERSAL STUDIOS SO WE CAN GO BACK TO UNIVERSAL STUDIOS.

That's a lot of ground to cover in under half an hour.

Mintville? Eh, that's crap. It's Colonial Street and you know it!

Nice shot of Joe's badge in case you missed it every episode over the credits. Ever.

I tend to skip the credits and theme, so it is sort of nice to see it in this handy context.

The painting behind him is a sorrowful thing:

I CAN'T HELP BUT AGREE

OK see ya, we have to get out of this soundstage, I mean out of Mintville, and be on our way.

What's up, guy with a shovel? Would you like to be an uncredited extra?

YES, VERY MUCH, THANKS

C'mon, Bill. Let's keep this road trip ruse alive!

Watch the episode, this is just some random military base stock footage. I promise you it's in the episode. The light quality, the film stock - forget it. Dead giveaway.

The Fairlane seems to be short one rearview mirror.

All right! Compass, here we come - I mean - Colonial Street, here we come:

A phone book! WHAT! You mean they didn't have internet?!

The Munsters House:

I'M CHUFFED TO SEE SUSAN SEAFORTH AGAIN, AREN'T YOU, JOE?

She made her Dragnet debut in "The Starlet" as a porno actress and sometimes normal actress.

Here, she's just a divorced waitress. 

Her set is pretty kicky, though. Not as "swell" or "groovy" as her pad in "The Starlet".

This set is more on par with Don Dubbins' Neo-Nazi digs.

HELLO I AM MAKING WORDS WITH MY HEAD

YES INDEED YOU ARE

This set comes up in the season two finale as well as briefly in "The Big Shipment".

Oh-oh…It's the Temple of the Expanded Mind!

We are going ALL OVER THE PLACE in this episode!

I wonder what books the swing gang put into the cupboard back there as filler.

I bet it's got more than a few inside jokes.

It might be riddled with them.

THAT WAS LAME. GET OUT OF MY SOUNDSTAGE.

WHY DO I FEEL LIKE WE'RE NEVER GOING ANYWHERE?

Because… Dragnet. That's why. But it's awfully fun, no?

Let's check out whatever unsavory characters are looming around Brownie's Pool Room:

Billiards, engaged columns, a regular column, taxidermies, some dude with a green visor reading a column:

THAT GUY IS ALL TROUBLE

HIS TIE IS TOO COOL

We believe you, Bert Holland.

"Know what, Joe?"

"What's that, Bill?"

"Those damn UFO lamps from The Starlet have multiplied. I think this is part of their plot to take over Earth."

YES DON STEWART HAD TASTE IN NECKWEAR THAT WAS FAR TOO ZANY

WELL, THEN. THAT SETTLES THAT.

"A final report on Police Academy candidate Harry Lanham's background investigation was forwarded to the Captain of Personnel Division…"

"As a result of his background investigation, Harry Lanham was found to be unsatisfactory and was rejected as a candidate for training at the Los Angeles Police Academy."

S2e26

Starred

Jack Webb as Sergeant Joe Friday

Harry Morgan as Officer Bill Gannon
Robert Patten as Sergeant Gene Markley
Don Stewart as Handsome Harry Lanham
Gene Boland as Howard Digby
Susan Seaforth as Saucy Virna Lanham
Herb Anderson as Carl Shumley
Dennis McCarthy as Leonard Robbins
Roy Engel as Art Turnbull
Mercer Harris as Fred Hiller
Stuart Nisbet as Chief of Mintville
Bert Holland as Ed Swift
Ed Deemer as Chief Oxley
______ as Uncredited Extra Leaning on a Shovel (?)

Art Direction - Russell Kimball

Set Decor - John McCarthy & John Sturtevant

Costumes - Vincent Dee

Aired 14 March 1968

Written by Robert C. Dennis

Keep your friends close & your UFO table lamps closer,
Suzy Dragnet